Glad I'm A Man

1. We know stuff about tanks

2. A 5-day trip requires only one suitcase

3. We can open all our own jars

4. We can go to the bathroom without a support group

5. We don't have to learn to spell a new last name

6. We can leave a motel bed unmade

7. We can kill our own food

8. We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness

9. Wedding plans take care of themselves

10. If someone forgets to invite us to something they can still be our friend.

11. Underwear is $10 a three-pack

12. If you are 34 and single nobody notices

13. Everything on our faces stays the original color

14. Three pair of shoes are more than enough

15. We don't have to clean the house/apartment if the meter reader is coming.

16. Car mechanics tell us the truth

17. We can sit quietly and watch a game with a friend for hours withou thinking "He must be mad at me."

18. Same work - more pay

19. Gray hair and wrinkles only add character

20. We can drop by and see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

21. If another guy shows up at a party in the same outfit you just might become lifelong friends.

22. Your pals will never trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"

23. We are not expected to know the names of more than 5 colors

24. We almost never have a "strap problem" in public

25. We are totally unable to see wrinkles in our clothes

26. The same hairstyle lasts for years - maybe decades

27. We don't have to shave below the neck

28. A few belches are expected and tolerated

29. Our belly usually hides our big hips

30. One wallet, one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons

31. We can do our nails with a pocketknife

32. We have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache

33. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 people on the day before Christmas and in 45 minutes.