Jokes
Flying in the plane
Sue and Bob, a pair of tight wads, lived in the mid west, and had been married years. Bob had always want to go flying. The…
Wife was mad at me
Two deaf men were in a coffee shop discussing their wives.One signs to the other, boy was my wife mad at me last night!She…
Another Late Night
Another Late Night . . .The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his cheek.…
Don't Ask Don't Tell
The wife approaches her husband wearing the exact same sexy little negligee she wore on their wedding night.She looks at her husband and says, "Honey,…
Bill Gates' Marriage
Q: What did Bill Gates' wife say to him on their wedding night?A: "Now I know why you named your company Microsoft!"
Definition of a Good Marriage
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.---Michel de Montaigne
Deaf Marriage
Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off…
Engagement Ring
The girl asked her lover, "Darling, if we get engaged will you give me a ring?""Sure, " replied her lover "What's your phone number?"
Dearest, My Love
Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love,…
Cutting You Off
Staggering in from their tenth anniversary dinner, the drunken husband collapsed in a chair and let out an enormous belch."That's it George! I've had it…
A neutron walks into a bar
A neutron walks into a bar, sits down and asks for a drink. Finishing, the neutron asks "How much?"The bartender says, "For you, no charge."
Planning Ahead
A woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond rings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and…
Marriage quotes
MARRIAGE is a great institution. I'm just not ready for an institution.MARRIAGE is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.MARRIAGE is not…
Commercial Reward
At breakfast one day, I eagerly waited for John to comment on my first attempt at homemade cinnamon rolls.After several minutes with no reaction, I…
Considerate
As I was on the way home from a long and stressful day at the office, the car phone rang. It was my husband. "Will you…