The day you start thinking that your idea is you that is when you start taking yourself too seriously and you will start falling in love with the 'I' and start losing track of your thinking thereby loosing track of the source where the 'I' is coming from in the first place.
If I come up with a hundred ideas, out of which 10 could be film ides, 80 of the other ideas also fail and 7 of the film ideas fail too. The people will only know about the failure of my film ideas. For instance I am known to be a huge success in my video library business when I started which is true from the perspective of my family and my colleagues in the video business at that time. But only I know that it was a big flop and here's why.
The reason I had started my video library was because I knew about 20 people among my friends and relatives who owned video players. So I thought that if they between them hire 20 cassettes, going by Rs.10- per cassette I would get Rs.200- a day and Rs.6000- a month which was the running cost of my shop. Anything extra I thought would be a profit which I can take a chance upon. Within a month of starting my shop I was renting out more than 100 cassettes a day but none of the 20, I was counting upon ever came to my shop or if they did, they never paid the money as they were my friends or were related to me. So in effect what I counted on didn't happen and the success came from unexpected quarters. But I know in my heart that if I knew those 20 people would not come, there is no way I would have started my shop.
So am I a success or a failure? I would say that I was a failure in intent and successful by chance. I believed in Raat more than Shiva and I only made Shiva first because the producers did not allow me to make Raat first. I believed in Daud more than Rangeela and the proof of that is why would I make a film like Daud after Rangeela unless I think it is better.
I had the same belief in J.D.Chakravarthy to Manoj Bajpai to Vivek to Prashant to Mohit to Adhvik. I had the same belief in Urmila to Antara to Nisha to Amruta. I had the same belief in Anurag Kashyap to Jaideep Sahani to Sajid Farad to Prashant Pandey and my belief in any of them does not change till today. Some of them made it and some did not. But the people are seeing the effect of them and making judgments on them whereas only I know the cause of what made that happen.
Any way to cut a long story short the point I wanted to make was that all my successes were by default and all my failures were by intent.
Then what made me sustain all this time? It is nothing but me going on making decisions. Decisions led to me making an appalling film like Daud after the super success of Rangeela and decisions led to make a highly experimental film with sweaty bearded faces like 'Satya' after the failure of Daud.
