Jokes
Where is this bus going?
A drunken man gets on the bus late one night, staggers up the aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman.She looks the man up…
You can't bring that dog in this bar
A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring…
I'm just trying to be helpful
A good samaritan was walking home late one night when he came upon this drunk on the sidewalk. Wanting to help, he asked the drunk "do…
They are stopped by the police
John and Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that…
I'll trust you that you paid
A man walks into a bar and has a couple of beers. Once he is donem the bartender tells him he owes $9.00."But I paid,…
Black Eyes
A regular at Bob's Bar came in one evening sporting a matched pair of swollen black eyes that appeared extremely painful."Whoa, Sam!" said the bartender.…
Bass Players' IQ
There was a certain bartender who was quite famous for being able to accurately guess people's IQs. One night a man walked in and talked to…
A man walked into a bar
A man walked into a bar after a long day at work. As he began to drink his beer, he heard a voice say seductively "You've…
I don't owe anything for this drink
The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, "What'll you have?" The guy answers, "A scotch, please." The bartender hands him the drink, and says…
I can bite my eye
A man walks into a bar has a few drinks and asks what his tab was. The bartender replies that it is twenty dollars plus tip.…
The wife is not speaking to me
One night, this guy come into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. Then he asks for another. After a couple more drinks, the…
Margaret and Patty
There is an Old Irish couple, Margaret and Patty. Margaret walks into the living room where Patty is and says, "Patrick, oh I am so proud…
Bar Stool Accident
William Joy (37), of Cookstown, Co. Tyrone, is paralysed from the waist down and confined to a wheelchair as a result of a fall from a…
Set me up with seven whiskey shots
A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, "What'll it be buddy?"The man says,…
A very depressed man
There's a man sitting at a bar just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour. Then, a big trouble-making truck driver…