Jokes
If Only Life Could Be Like a Computer
If you messed up your life, you could press "Alt, Ctrl, Delete" and start all over!To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"!If…
Amish Computer Scandal
Amish Computer Scandal Shocks Community.BIRD-IN-HAND, PENNSYLVANIA: In a recent sting operation, the Amish Bureau of Internal Affairs seized literally hundreds of dollars of unauthorized electronic…
Proper Diskette Usage and Care
Never leave diskettes in the drive, as the data can leak out of the disk and corrode the innermechanics of the drive. Diskettes should be rolled…
Custom Software
My old boss had spent some time writing software packages for this particular program. The software usually came as source code and was executed through an…
A Police car pulled alongside a speeding car
A Police car pulled alongside a speeding car on the motorway.Glancing at the car he was astonished to see that the blond behind the wheel…
More News Headlines
Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkersSafety Experts say school bus passengers should be beltedDrunk gets nine months in violin caseJuvenile court to…
Police Quotes
The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile.""Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife…
Foiled carjacking
An elderly lady did her shopping and upon return found 4 males in her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to…
Cross Examination
A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial - it went like this:Q. Officer, did you see my client fleeing the…
Please come out and give yourself up.
Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers…
Organized Crime
No matter how much the government fights it, organized crime just seems to getmore organized every day. The police pulled in a Mob kingpin recently…
Police House Calls
My partner and I were in our police car when we were dispatched to break upa domestic dispute. We spoke with the couple and the…
Emergency Call
Dad's pager went off, summoning him to the hospital, where he is an anesthetist. As he raced toward the hospital, a patrol car sped up behind…
Parking Meter
Parking MeterOn a visit to Boston, I noticed a parking meter with a paper sack over it upon which was written: "Broken."A skeptical parking…
Red and blue lights
Judi was sitting at the defendant table while the state trooper was being cross-examined on the witness stand.The lawyer asked, “When you stopped Judi, were…